The tables have turned.

Le 12 mars   There’s such a perfect Catch-22 to being far from home. There’s a pain that comes with loving life. The first few months of my time in Rwanda (finishing around January after the holidays were over, more or less), I missed my family and friends from home very much. I was enjoying the thrills of meeting new friends, experiencing a new culture, and the challenges that came with teaching, but there were times when I did miss home very much.

So I threw myself into my life here in Rwanda whole-heartedly (and that may be a part of the reason my communication has been so terrible, I apologize), and I am completely in love with Rwanda and her people.

The irony is that just as soon as I cease feeling the pain of missing home, I begin the grieving process of leaving my Rwandan home.

I think the reality of my imminent departure came to fruition when my parents were preparing to leave Rwanda. They were here for only ten or twelve days and were so torn up about having to leave. “If I was in Gisenyi for 3 days and feel this way, I can’t imagine how you’ll do leaving after 8 months,” my dad said somberly as we pulled away from my neighborhood of Muhato. I think the safest thing would have been for me to keep my distance enough that I wouldn’t have to hurt upon leaving, but that just wouldn’t have been a fulfilling experience – and that wouldn’t be me to not love each person I meet.

So now it begins. I have just less than ten weeks to go, and I know it will fly by. I’m trying to keep the reality of that in my mind, as for such a long while it felt as though I was here to stay. After this realization made my heart heavy this afternoon, I went over to the school where our students are preparing for our exams which start on Thursday. It was the perfect remedy. Ten or so of us huddled around a tiny table, going about the logistics of Front Office – acting out scenarios, circling key words and laughing often. It was just what my soul needed.

Then, lucky me, I got to see off the group of students (some of whom are from other secondary schools in the area) who have started up a Kung Fu Club. It’s amazing – they’re very dedicated and very talented. So, as if it was from divine providence, I got another round of hugs. Ah… as I was at the gate with them? A few friends were passing. More hugs. I was nearly eaten alive by mosquitoes, but I suppose it’s a good testament to how much these people mean to me that I willingly stood in a cloud of mosquitoes to be with them.

I knew that I wanted to come on mission for a longer period of time that just a couple of months in order to truly establish relationships and have more lasting experiences. However, that’s a double-edged sword – being around long enough to love your friends means leaving them will be all the more difficult. I knew what I was getting into, but also told myself that this experience would be worth it. And it is.